every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
