No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
