theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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