i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
