i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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