return my video game
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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