i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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