operation harelip BJ is a go
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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