You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dear god my vagina.
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