Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
