So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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