I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just threw up on my dentist
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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