How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
