can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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