His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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