So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
