similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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