And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
