I'm going to jail i love you
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
