ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
