The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
