it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
either way he was missing a nipple.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
