real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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