Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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