The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We are two peas in an std pod
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Why did my mother make you get naked?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
