i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
