im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
