Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
