you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
