I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Are my feet made of real feet?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
