Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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