I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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