She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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