look no pants
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize