Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
