so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
