video games are the ultimate cock blocker
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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