Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize