I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
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Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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