well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
