Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
