You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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