similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
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she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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