Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
