he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
