I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Even my vagina gasped.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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