your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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