Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
