that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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