so that wasnt chicken after all
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
two words...techno handjob
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
