its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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