She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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