You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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