my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
