I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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