I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
