so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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